Waiting for the end
by CubeEscape
Summary: "Everyone has a past, even the emotionless boy. Past is something that you can forget, but it'll always come back to haunt you.". A Mello/Near story. Rated T for language and boyxboy. Review please!
1. Chapter 1

Hello fellows. This is my first fic, so I hope you guys like it. Inspired by the song "Waiting for the end" (Linkin Park) and a lil' bit of "Mad world" (Gary Jules).

Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note!

P/S: I'm not England or American, so please forgive me for my poor English...

Mello met him on a normal, too normal winter day: cold, snowy, grey sky... The boy arrived at Wammy's House like fresh fallen snow - sudden but gentle and unnoticed.

A grumpy seven-year-old blonde was finding some chocolates. The hall was silent (since everyone was in their room). When Mello passed the Common room, something white caught his eyes. He turned his head...

Mello froze.

Sitting there, in the middle of the room, was a small boy... He was so white: his skin was pale and smooth like porcelain. His short curly white hair looked so soft. The boy wore oversized white pyjamas...

And he was glowing (or at least, Mello thought so).

The albino was solving a blank puzzle, one leg up to his chest, and one delicate hand twirling a white lock now and then.

He was like an angel, a fallen angel...

But those eyes, those big, onyx and abyss-liked eyes, they were lifeless, unreadable,...

Emotionless.

Mello gulped. He walked into the room and chocolate'd been long forgotten.

"Hey".

The white-clad boy looked up, locked his eyes with the blondes. Mello could feel those eyes looking through him, reading him like an open book.

"You're new, right?"

The small boy nodded, turning his eyes on the puzzle again.

"Well, I'm Mello and I'm seven. You?" Mello smiled.

"Near. I'm five." The younger boy whispered, but the blonde heard it anyway.

Since that first meeting, Mello came to the Common room and talked with Near everyday. Actually, Mello would just eat his chocolate while watching Near and the snowy boy would play with his toys. Sometime, they talked about politics, psychology,... things like that.

Being around Near and spending time with him was interesting, Mello admitted. He found the boy quiet, smart (too smart for his age) and cute. But Mello could never understand Near. He was different, unique. He was a mystery.

Near was special.

Their little relationship just went like that, until they had there first test together. For the first time in his life, Mello was second best, right after Near.

The chocoholic stormed into the Common room, where a certain albino was building a small house of dice.

"Hello Mello." Near greeted in monotone. Mello didn't respond. Instead, he knocked down Near's building. The white-haired boy remained silent.

"You're just lucky this time, twit!" The blonde said, his voice full of venom. "I'm L's successor, not you. You and me are now rivals!" With that, Mello stormed off the Common room. He missed the slight sorrow in Near's eyes.

From that moment, their friendship, their life, everything had changed...forever.

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: love/hate? Review please!


	2. Chapter 2

Okayyyy! From this chapter:

Mello: 16, Matt: 15, Near: 14. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note.

' ** _I'_** _ **d been working so hard! How the fuck could he beat me AGAIN?**_ _'_ Mello thought as he unwrapping (tearing, to be exact) his chocolate bar. Being a competitive boy he was, Mello couldn't stand the fact that he was second (again), right after the white-haired boy. He was Mihael Keehl, for GOD SAKE, he was number one, until that little white mouse appeared (9 years ago) and took his place. Mello hated Near so much: his whiteness appearance, his obsession with toys, his indifferent manner... How the fuck could Near be so calm whenever he received his test, whenever Mello punched him in the face... To Mello, L was his idol, his God, yet Near seemed to be unconcerned.

 _ **Snap!**_

Mello finished his chocolate and threw the wrapper aside when he reached the Common room. There he was, perfect Near, sitting in the corner of the room and solving his blank puzzle, like usual. The blonde walked up to the albino. The boy didn't even look up from his puzzle.

"Hello Mello. What does Mello need?" Near said, monotonous. _**'What's wrong with him and his third-person-talking?'**_ The older one wondered.

"A perfect score again, Near. Just like always. How does it feel when being first without studying, huh?" Mello mocked. Near sighed, mentally. He really didn't want to be involved in this one-side-rivalry. He liked Mello. The blonde was the only one who ever paid him any attention. Near considered Mello and Matt as his only friends, but the chocoholic despited him. The white-clad boy didn't mean to be a genius, he just did, and here Mello hated him for being himself. How ironic.

"Does Mello have nothing else to do than talking to me, since he didn't enjoy my company? Beside, I'm kinda busy, as Mello can see." Near gestured his puzzle, remained indifferent. Suddenly, Mello grabbed his collar and lifted him up. Fierce ocean-blue eyes locked with deadly grey eyes.

"You think I'm not good enough to talk to you, huh?" The blonde growled. "You think that you're so much better than anyone else, don't you? Your bastard. You're just a little piece of trash!".

Near's face reflected nothing, just blank. The younger boy kept silence. He was used to Mello's 'nickname' for him, though.,

"YOUR MOTHER IS A BITCH!" Mello shouted. The blonde was really pissed off. That was the first time Mello had ever said to him like that.

Near froze.

 _"YOUR MOTHER IS A BITCH!" The drunken man screamed at a ten-year-old girl as he slid the knife on her arm. Beside him, on the floor, lying a lifeless woman, his wife. She was covered in blood. The little girl kept crying, pleading the man to stop._

 _In the corner of the room, there was a four-year-old boy, curling up into a ball. He couldn't do anything. Tears stained his face, his wide eyes fulled of horror. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the bloody scene in front of him._

 _And without warning, the lunatic man stabbed at the girl. There were several stab wounds: in her arms, her legs, her stomach,... her heart...The small boy's eyes widen._

 _After dropping the girl down, he turned to the boy, a wicked smile crept on his face..._

 ** _'Near... he is shaking...'_** Mello noticed. Near looked at the ground, his snowy white hair hid his eyes. They stayed like that for a few minutes.

"I will appreciate Mello if he puts me down right now..." Near broke the silence, his voice cracked. The blonde let go of Near and the albino ran out of the Common room immediately, leaving a confused-Mello behind. He ran past Matt. The redhead was walking into the room, his hands occupied with his PSP.

"What the...? NEAR, WAIT!" The gamer called, but Near didn't listen. He turned to his best friend.

"Okay Mels, what have you done to him?" Matt asked, his voice cold. "Not nice, dude." The redhead shook his head and ran after Near. Mello just stood there, didn't know what to do. _**'Near... What's wrong him. He looked like he was going to cry.'**._ Fifteen minutes later, Matt came back, Mello was still standing there.

"That kid sure knows how to hide whenever he wants to. He isn't even in his room." Matt murmured, then continued. "Tell me Mels, what happened?"

"I... I don't know." The blonde admitted.

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: Soooo... opinion?


	3. Chapter 3

Near had come back to his room a minute before curfew (and we won't talk about where he'd been hiding). Frankly, he was in panic, he was scared. He couldn't be emotional. The albino had been and was trying to forget about those painful memories. Why did they return? Why now? Why wouldn't they just disappear forever? He had to be perfect, blank, emotionless. Sighing, Near reached for his laptop and chose a file.

Mello was walking through the corridor. He couldn't sleep. The blonde had been thinking about a certain white-clad boy all day after that incident in the Common room. What's wrong with Near? This was the first time the boy had ever shown emotion. Near's broken voice, his watery eyes, everything was so strange, so new, so... Mello didn't know. He couldn't figure out. Suddenly, the blonde heard something. Music sound. He knew this song. "Mad world" by Gary Jules. The problem was...

It was coming from Near's room...

Mello's eyes widen. Near? Listening to music? It was hard to believe. Curiously, the blonde turned the knob, only to find the door wasn't locked. He peeked inside Near's room, and saw the white-haired boy sitting beside his bed, eyes closed. Near hadn't spot Mello yet.

 **"All around me are familiar faces**

 **Worn out places, worn out faces**

 **Bright and early for their daily races**

 **Going nowhere, going nowhere**

 **The tears have filled up their glasses**

 **No expression, no expression**

 **Hide my head, I want to drown my sorrow**

 **No tomorrow, no tomorrow"**

The albino didn't locked the door. No one had ever visit his room (except for Rodger and Mello), especially not at this time so he could do whatever he want. For now, Near felt hollow. Empty. His life was pointless. He was expected and raised to be L's successor, but he didn't want to. It didn't mean that he hate L. Near respected the detective. L was like a big brother to him. Near appreciated L for saving him, for giving him a home, but Near just wanted to be a normal boy having a normal life like other normal kids. But then, who he really was? What was his purpose of life? What was he living for? Near didn't know. After listening to the song for a moment, he started singing in small voice...

 **"And I find it kinda funny, I find it kinda sad**

 **The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had**

 **I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take**

 **When people run in circles, it's a very very**

 **Mad world**

 **Mad world..."**

Mello was stunned. Near's voice was so soft, so angelic, filled with a lot of emotions that the blonde couldn't decipher. He slid his back on the door until he sat on the floor, listening to the white-clad boy. _**'What are you hiding, Near? Why can't you tell me?'**_ Mello wondered. Finally, the song came to an end. He peeked inside again. Near had fallen asleep on the floor, curling up into a ball. The chocoholic walked silently into Near's room, turned off the laptop and tucked the younger boy up in his bed. Mello watched Near for a moment then returned to his room, unable to sleep all night.

The next morning, Near woke up only to wonder why he was in his bed, but since he didn't want to care, he shrugged it off.

After that night, Mello stared at the white-haired boy more often. The blonde kept asking himself about Near: what the albino was thinking, why the boy chose to be emotionless, how thick his facade was... Mello started watching Near ( I don't want to use the word "stalking"): his snowy white hair, his deep grey eyes, his flawless skin, the way he twirling a white lock around his finger, his soft lips... Whoa whoa, that was ENOUGH! _**'What am I thinking?** **'**_. Why did the chocoholic feel something unfamiliar in his stomach when he looked at Near? And since that night, Mello would come to the small boy's room every night, watching him sleep and then left.

Despite the incident with Mello, Near still remained emotionless. And now (a few day after that night), he was stacking a castle of dice in the Common room. It was a nice day, everyone was outside so he was alone. The albino had too concentrated on his thoughts and his work, he didn't even notice a strange smell until the room became hot too much.

 _ **'What?'**_

Near stood up and opened the door.

He saw fire, fire everywhere.

 _"Nate my boy, do you want to have some funs?" The man asked the small boy, the knife was still in his hand. The boy ran into his room and locked the door. The drunken man knocked._

 _"Nate, can you open the door?". The four-year-old sat still in his room, tears slid on his cheeks._

 _"ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT!" The lunatic shouted. Nate waited. He thought the man would break the door and stormed into his room, but all he got was silence. But then, he heard something._

 _The man was lighting a fire, Nate knew it. He felt hot and hard to breathe. Luckily, his room was on the first floor, and being a smart boy he was, Nate opened the window and climbed outside. It was raining._

 _The small boy ran into th_ _e rain. He didn't know where he would run to, and he didn't care. He just ran. All he could hear were thunder and the maniac laugh..._

Before Near realized, he had collapsed. He couldn't move. He felt weak, pathetic. **_'So, this is the end, huh?'_** the albino thought. _**'Mama...Natalie... I'm coming... Please wait for me...'**_ And then, he fainted away...

But not before he heard someone calling his alias.

"NEAR!"

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: I think that I have a lot of grammatical errors in this chapter. Anyway, opinions?


	4. Chapter 4

**_'Am I dead?'_**

"NEAR!"

 _ **'Why is everything so black?'**_

"NEAR!"

 _ **'Huh?'**_

"NEAR! WAKE UP!"

 _ **'Someone...'**_

Ever so slowly, Near opened his eyes. It's not long for him to realize that he was laying on a white bed in a white room but not his room. The albino was wearing an oxygen mask.

Hospital.

"Oh Near. Thank God." The old man sighed a relieved sigh.

"Rodger..." Near responded weakly.

"I'm so sorry. We have some electrical faults, and the fire alarm didn't work. But we will fix it as soon as possible."

"How-"

"Since all the children were outside and panicked because of the fire, we didn't have time to find you. But Mello had run into the house and found you unconscious. He saved you." Rodger gestured to the blonde behind him. The chocoholic was eating a bar of chocolate, murmuring a 'Whatever'. He refused to look into the white-haired boy's eyes, a light pink dusted his cheeks.

Near's eyes widen a little. Mello SAVED him. Why? Didn't the blonde hate him? Or maybe he just didn't want to lose his competitor. But the important was: Mello saved Near, and that fact made the white-clad boy warm inside. He felt happy, but he wouldn't let anyone know that. Emotions are weakness.

"Alright. I'll talk to the doctor. Mello, please look after Near. And Near, rest." With that, Rodger left. The blonde kept eating his chocolate, still refused to look at Near. And Near, he didn't know what to do or say. After a moment, the albino broke the silence.

"Mello..."

"Hm..."

"Thank you..."

Mello just standing there, remained silent, but the corner of his lips twitched into a smile. Finally, the blonde turned his head. Ocean blue locked with onyx grey...

"You're welcome."

131313131313

It was a stormy night, a few weeks after the fire. Mello was sitting in his and Matt's room, beside the window, munching his Hershey. And laying lazily on the bed was the redhead, playing with his PSP like always.

Why did Mello save Near? The blonde couldn't understand himself. If the albino'd died, Mello'd have been L, right? No, he wasn't that low. He wanted to win fair and square. Yeah, that made sense. Then why did the chocoholic feel his heart broken, his eyes blurred with tears when he saw the white-haired boy sprawling on the floor, unconscious, helpless...? Mello even stayed beside Near's bed in the hospital until the small boy recovered completely.

"Hey Mels..." Matt's voice broke through Mello's thoughts.

"What?"

"...You should tell him..."

"What-the-fuck are you talking about?" The blonde replied bluntly.

"DAMMIT MELS! YOU KNOW WHAT THE FUCK I'M TALKING ABOUT!" The gamer snapped. Mello was startled. His best friend had never, ever snapped before. The blonde knew this was serious. Matt took a deep breath.

"Mels, you are my best friend and my brother. I know you too well. I mean, we've been best friend for 10 years, dude."

"..."

"You are never good at hiding your emotions, and look at you now. You are denying your true feelings for Near, and I can't stand that fact. Beside, Near is my friend too. I know that he likes you. He is not a robot, man."

"Matt..."

"So just go, you won't regret it."

"That sounds very cheesy, my friend. Do you want to confess to me?" Mello teased.

"Don't flatter yourself." Matt laughed. "My only love is video games. And maybe Linda."

"Good choice. She's kind." The blonde walk to the door. Before leaving, he hugged the redhead tightly.

"Thanks, man."

"Anytime, bro."

131313131313

Near was sitting in one corner of his room, his empty, dark and so white room, curling up into a ball. The rain poured harshly against the window, thunder exploded, lighting flashed...

 _Just like that night..._

He was trying so hard not to cry. He wouldn't cry, he wouldn't sob, but he couldn't stop his body from shaking. Near couldn't forget those memories. They kept coming back, haunting him no matter what he did. The white-haired boy couldn't do anything. He was so pathetic. Near despised himself. The albino didn't want to live anymore, yet he couldn't suicide. It felt so wrong, and he was scared.

 ** _'Why didn't the fire just end my life then?'_**

The door creaked open, and a certain blonde appeared. Near lifted his head. He put on his blank mask right after spotting the blonde.

"Hello Mello. What does Mello want? Isn't it quite late now?" Near asked in his monotone. Mello walked into the younger genius's room, closed the door behind him, and now, the chocoholic was standing in front of the white-clad boy. He kneeled down.

"Near, I want an answer." Mello asked, his voice was as calm as ever. "What's wrong with you? Maybe no one noticed, but I did. You haven't been yourself for weeks, since that day in the Common room."

"Why does Mello care? He hates me, remember?" Near replied quietly. The blonde sighed heavily.

"Near, look at me..."

The albino remained silent, refused to look at the older teen.

"ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT!" Mello grabbed Near's chin. He was no longer patient.

Near froze, again.

 _"ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW, DAMMIT!"_

Enough! He couldn't take it anymore.

"NO! FATHER, DON'T KILL THEM, PLEASE!" Near shouted, bursted into tears...

...for the first time in ten years...

"Please...Mama...Natalie...don't..." The small boy sobbed, his face soaked in tears.

"Near..." Mello whispered. He didn't know what to say. The blonde did the only thing he could think of at the moment: he put his arms around the younger teen and held him close. Near was stunned. That was unexpected.

But eventually, the white-haired boy relaxed and lean into the blonde's arms like other little kids would do in this situation. He started sobbing.

Images flooded his mind.

Near saw red. Blood. Red everywhere: on his mother, on his sister, on the maniac's hands and knife, under his feet. Red surrounded him...

Near saw fire. Hot and unstoppable, despite the rain. Fire licked the roof, the floor, the two bodies and also the drunken man...

Near saw black. Darkness. He couldn't see anything. He didn't know where to go. He was lost in the nothingness. Near could feel the rain and hear the thunder...

But then, Near saw Mello... Mello, emotional, unbreakable, so full of passion and life. The blonde was holding him and saving Near from himself. He wasn't scared anymore. Just safe, peaceful and some warm feelings inside his heart and stomach.

Mello kept holding the younger boy tight, one hand stroking his white hair. Near's hair was soft, silky and smell like mint, Mello noticed. The boy in his arms right now was so small, so innocent, so weak, so vulnerable and fragile. The albino's thick wall was now broken. How long had he been suffering like this? So many questions...

But now, Mello couldn't think anything. The blonde let his emotions lead his way like always. He lean in, closer and closer to Near's face until his lips brushed against Near's. Mello had his eyes closed, so he couldn't see Near's reactions. After a moment, the chocoholic felt the albino kissing him back.

The kiss was soft, innocent, no tongue but passionate at the same time. The kiss contained all of their true feelings for each other.

But before they could deepen the kiss, they'd realized that both of them were shaking. Mello drew back.

"We can't be together..." The blonde whispered. "There are too many risks..."

"I know..." Near responded, almost inaudible.

"I'm sorry..."

"..."

Mello put another chaste kiss on the white-haired boy's lips, then stood up and left, slowly closed the door. Near was now alone in his room.

He felt empty.

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: my fingers are hurting. Anyway, what do you think? Review please!


	5. Chapter 5

_"Well?" Matt asked his best friend after the blonde'd entered their room. Mello just standing there, remained silent, his head bowed._

 _"You told him, didn't you?"_

 _"Yeah..."_

 _"..."_

 _"But we...we can't..." The chocoholic hesitated. He looked like he was going to cry. The redhead wasn't third for no reason. He knew why. Matt stood up and embraced Mello tightly..._

Matt felt sad for his friends. No one noticed the slight change between the two rivals, but the gamer did. Matt noticed the way Mello would slow dow whenever he walked past the Common room or a certain albino's room. Matt noticed the way Near would glanced at the blonde with a different emotions in those abyss-liked eyes. They supposed to be happy. The redhead even imagined a bright future with the house, the kids and himself being a god-uncle or something like that, for GOD SAKE. Poor Mello, the blonde even prayed every night for Near (Matt could hear that), and the albino started eating chocolate.

131313131313

One day, L's died. By Kira, Rodger said so. Everything happened so fast, so sudden. Mello pronounced that he would leave this institute, then stormed off Rodger's office. And Near, he went back to his room after bidding the old man a goodbye.

The albino sat on his bed in his usual position. He didn't want to solve the puzzle, didn't want to play with his toys, not now. The white-clad boy kept thinking, yet he didn't know what to think about but the blonde and his life-saver's death. Near was meant to be a genius, then why was his mind so blank?

"Near..." Ah, there he was. Mello, standing in front of the door. The white-haired boy stood up. Now, he was facing the blonde. Near couldn't stop Mello from leaving. He knew it when he looked into the ocean-blue eyes.

"Mello..."

"..."

"..."

"I..I'll be waiting for you in the finish line...I promise..." With that, the chocoholic put a soft kiss on Near's lips and left.

"Right..." The albino murmured, fingers lightly touched his lips.

131313131313

Everything was over. Near won. Kira had lost, killed by Death Note, how ironic. The world was saved. But now what? Mello's died, Matt's died. Near had no one in this world. The blonde wasn't waiting for him in the finish line like he promised 4 years ago.

The eighteen-year-old was sitting on the floor of the SPK's Headquarters in his infamous position: one leg up to his chest and one delicate hand twirling a white lock now and then. He wore oversized white pyjamas. Near felt lonely. The white-haired boy had let his staffs go home and take a break. Now, he just staring at his unsolved blank puzzle, didn't know what to do...

Suddenly, the albino heard the door opened...

Chocolate scent...

Near turned his head... His eyes blurred. He was speechless...

Mello...

The white-clad boy stood up and walked up to the blonde in front of him.

"Hi Near..." Mello smiled gently. Near just kept silence. He was scared. Was it a ghost? An illusion? An image that his mind made? After a moment, the albino took a deep breath and slowly touched the chocoholic's cheek with his small hand. Mello let him, eyes watching every Near's actions.

"You're real..." Near whispered, unbelievable. A single tear slid on his pale cheek.

Mello was here, and he was real, in the fresh. It was a miracle. The young detective couldn't believe in his eyes and mind.

"I promised, didn't I?" The chocoholic replied.

"How?"

"Takada misspelled my name. I escaped from the church after putting a dead mafia's member in the driver seat."

"And Matt?"

"He's fine, too. Those polices are quite stupid. You know, bullet-proof vest, fake blood,..." Mello chuckled. Near was speechless again. His mind was full of thoughts.

"Well, because you won, maybe I should give you a prize then." The older male broke the silence, still chuckled. Near was confused.

"What are y-" Before the white-haired boy could finish his question, Mello had put his arms around Near's waist and pull him into a kiss. The younger male was shocked at first, but he soon returned the kiss.

Their kiss was deep this time, with teeth and tongues, full of passion and emotions. Chocolate with fresh mint was a marvellous combination (no one can deny it). After a few minutes, they broke apart.

Damn the need for air.

Near embraced Mello tightly, buried his face in the blonde's leather vest. Mello held the white-clad boy close, put his chin on Near's curly white hair. No word needed to be spoken. But still...

"I love you Mel-" Near whispered but the blonde cut him off.

"Mihael. Mihael Keehl."

Near leaned back, looked deep into those ocean blue eyes. The albino smiled: a gentle, genuine smile...

His first smile in 14 years...

"Nate River. Nice to meet you, Mihael."

They were happy.

And from that moment, they both knew that no matter how cruel this world was, no matter how hard the future could be, no matter how polar opposite they were, everything's gonna be okay...

...as long as they had each other...

FIN.

A/N: Done! Thank you, all of you for reading this fic. The reviews are awesome. I hope that you've enjoyed this story so far. And again, please forgive me for my poor English. Please review!

P/S: I love this couple so much!


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